Monday, November 28, 2011

Moon Dance Monday (Nov. 28th)

Hey guys! It's Monday. You know what that means: I take the reader cap off and put the writing cap on for another installment of Moon Dance Mondays!

Since Christmas is quickly approaching, I thought that it might be fun to share a scene from the book with you over the next few weeks.

All you need to do is come back each week to see what will happen next. I will be sharing at least three things: one for Kesyl, one for Kyden and one for Avish. I'll also be tackling a particular challenge each of these has given me. Ready to have some fun? Read on...

Writing a Vulnerable Hero: Kesyl

Kesyl Veradayne has the power to take peoples' souls. He is the God of Judgement in the Underworld. His human form is the creation of the Lord of the Dead and the Goddess of the Moon. He is a total and complete badass... Unless you're talking about Sarena Lengton.

I wanted two things when I started writing Kesyl. First, I wanted to write a character who thought he was absolutely certain about everything. As a God of Judgement, Kess can have no room to second guess himself. His word is absolute and carries real and dangerous powers. Even if he is not totally certain about something, he has to convince others that he believes he is.

On the other hand, Kess is a lot more niave then most people would ever imagine. And when his trust is burned by his ex-girlfriend, who sneaks around with his best friend Jayden before our story begins, it leaves Kess with some real issues in the dating department. Which only makes it more complicated when the next girl to enter his life just happens to be Jayden's little sister...

Moon Dance Sample:

*Note: This is all from my -rough draft-. There is a good chance that some stuff here will change. You have been warned! 

"We need to talk." Kess sat on Jayden's bed, watching him wrap Christmas presents. "I need your advice."

"About Sara, I'm guessing?" Jayden flashed him a Cheshire Cat grin and Kess wondered if he had picked the right person. Jayden's reputation with girls was well known and well deserved. But that rep was for loving and leaving. Staying? Not so much.

"You got it." Kess let himself fall back on the bed and stretched like a lazy cat. "Now that I have her, what do I do?"

"Whoa, there. What do you mean, you have her?"

Was this really so hard to understand? "At the mall the other day. I told all of those people she is mine."

Jayden's laughter made Kess want to throw something. "Might want to clue Sara in. She hasn't been acting like a girl who has a new boyfriend from what I've seen."

"What do you mean?"

"Really, Kess?" Jayden threw a pen and it bounced off Kess' leg. "Have you asked her to be your girlfriend? Have you even asked her on a date?"

"She and I are destined."

"For the love of God, tell me you didn't tell her that."

"No. It needs to be her choice." Kess wondered whether Amy might have been the better advisor.

"She wanted to see New Moon. Why don't you ask her to do that?"

"I suppose I could." Kess tried to remember what the movie was about. "Oh, man. A vampire movie?"

Jayden's body shook with silent chuckles. "Girls love those for some reason I can't fathom. Favor?"

"What do you need?"

"Snow. If I hear one more person cry that there isn't any--"

"Done."  Kess waved a hand toward the bedroom window. He let his spirit leave his body and float outside. Glistening silvery white snowflakes began to cover the ground. Returning to full consciousness he turned to look at Jayden. "You just want it to look pretty, right?"

"Right." Jayden set a wrapped gift on the floor. He turned to look at Kess, his dark blue eyes lit with realization. "You haven't wrapped the stuff you bought yet, have you?"

"No. Why?"

Jayden threw some wrapping supplies at Kess. "Good luck with that. I think you'll need it."

"Can't you do it?"

"I could. But I think people will appreciate it more if you do it."

Sarena. Dammit. Kess nodded. "You have a point. I'll see you tomorrow, Jayden."


Kess sat at the McClures' kitchen table, Christmas gifts spread out on every chair but the one in which he sat. If he'd known he would still be at this at 3 a.m. he would have paid someone to do it for him. But here he was, fingers tensing and irritation mounting like the boiling tea kettle that was whistling on the stove.

He got up and poured himself another mug of Earl Gray. He had to stay calm. Could not lose his temper. He had carefully chosen the gifts on the table. They were for people who had taken him in; risked their lives so that he would be safe. He would get these under that damned tree if it cost him his own soul.

"Nothing that complicated." Carita's voice floated into the room. She lifted a Kindle off of one chair and sat down. "Want help?"

"Please." Kess watched his mother take the Kindle, measure paper to fit it, and begin to fold and tape its box. "I couldn't think of a way to get my magic to do it. Its been a hell of a fight."

Carita grinned and reached for a BluRay player. "Never seen you lose one of those, Kess."

"You wrap them and I'll tag them, okay?" Lifting the wrapped Kindle into the air, Kess levitated some ribbon and tied it in a bow.

"What did you get Sarena?"

"A laptop. That computer she has is junk." Kess passed the laptop to Carita, careful not to drop it.

"Her parents have done their best." Carita's tone was gentle.

"I know." Kess watched her wrap the laptop. "I'm sure Jayden told you what I found."

"Of course he did." Carita set the laptop down and got up. She poured herself a cup of tea. "Sarena know yet?"

"Absolutely not." The pause Carita took before rejoining him at the table told Kess he'd got that message across. "It has to be her choice. Telling her would ruin that."

"Well what have you told her?" Carita's gaze was sharp. "Have you asked her to be your girlfriend? On a date? Said you love her? Anything?"

"Mom." Kess held his hands up in surrender. "I don't know what to do. She's human. A teenager. She's worried about shopping and gossip and going to her prom. I don't fit."

"Batshit." Carita clapped her hands together. "Give the girl some credit. How many times has she risked her ass to save you?"

"She's gotta quit doing that."

"Seems to run in the family, huh?" Carita chuckled softly. "Reminds me of the first time you met Jayden."

"Mom, don't." Kess let out a sigh. "What are you getting at here?"

Carita squeezed his arm. "If you don't speak up some other guy will come along. And he will. What then?"

Kess could feel the beginnings of a headache starting behind his eyes. "I try not to think about it."

"You need to talk to her, Kess. How can she make a choice she doesn't know she has?"

"I guess you're right."

Carita got up and ruffled his hair. She lifted some of the presents in her arms. "I'm your Mom. I'm always right."

She winked at him and walked into the living room. She might have meant it as a joke, but as he sat and thought about what she was saying, Kess had to admit that most of the time it was true. Damn. That meant he had to do something to clue in Sarena.

He lifted the laptop and followed Carita. "Money talks so much better then I do. Life sucks sometimes."

And there you have it! :) Yet again -- just incase the note print was too tiny -- this is from my rough draft. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it, though. :) I'd love to know what you think. If you enjoyed this be sure to come back each week between now and Christmas for another peek. Thanks for dropping by! 


  1. I love the name Kess and you are so great to put your writing up here. I know so many people who talk about writing, but never show anyone.

    BTW, Team Katniss FTW

  2. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm working on round one revisions and then I'll be looking for a few people to do some crit and give feedback. I figure I'll have an easier time getting those if I share a bit in the weeks leading up to that.


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